Tools for Winning the Game

I have a coaching client who became frustrated in his attempts to move forward in his life. He turned to me for help. He was spinning in place, and was beginning to feel worse and worse as his rut deepened.

My client was looking to me for some helpful new information.

But I knew he needed something else entirely.

My client had done the work, he had developed insight and awareness, he had assembled all the tools. He did not need any new information to get moving again. All he needed was help refocusing on what he already knows. As we talked together, it was only a matter of moments before he was back in alignment with what matters most to him, and through that process, he automatically felt free and easy and energized all over again.

Following this session, we talked about how easy it is to forget what we already know works in our lives—how easy it is to abandon even those basic practices that have served us well in the past.

I confessed to my client that even though I submerge myself in all this positive, empowering stuff— even though I write about it, read about it, coach people every day around the subject—it still really takes an enormous amount of commitment on my part for me to walk the walk myself. I know the importance of daily practice, yet I still have to work at maintaining my daily discipline and focus so I can create the high quality life I desire and deserve.

You would think that after practicing daily for over 20 years, after declaring human empowerment to be my life’s purpose and passion, it would not be so hard for me. You would think it would all be habitual for me by now.

But it’s not.

Truth is, even after all this time, it is just as easy for me to slip out of positive habits as the next guy.

Bottom line: If I don’t do my daily practice I can and do forget what matters most to me in my life.

So, what are my daily practices? Upon waking I . . .

1. Make a mental gratitude list for everything I am thankful for
2. Set my daily intention for the kind of day I want to have
3. Touch base with my higher power and have a moment of prayer
4. Install some kind of positive material into my consciousness: I read about, listen to or somehow access positive messages that surround me.

Without this daily practice in place, I can slip off the beam pretty quickly. It doesn’t take long for me to tumble and crash into full-blown negativity.

I like to think of the negative thoughts as a virus that attaches itself to my brain. Just like a computer virus can attack and corrupt information in my hard drive, this virus has the power to contaminate my thoughts with fearful doubts, angry “what ifs.” and clouds of doom and gloom.

As the virus spreads and causes my thoughts to slide down into the abyss, my actions quickly follow. My less-than-wonderful choices begin to reflect my negative thoughts, and then, before you know it, my whole day starts to suck.

I find that if I don’t protect my intake of thoughts by installing an anti-virus program infused with thoughts of joy, gratitude, love, abundance, creativity, and connection, my rotten day can turn into a rotten week, and that can turn into a rotten month, a rotten year and eventually, a rotten life.

This same client told me about a beloved and revered spiritual master teacher who practiced at his Zen center. At the time of his death at age 88, this enlightened master with many followers was still bowing over 1,000 times a day.

My client always enjoyed this teacher’s insightful offerings and was astonished by how much effort this wise man put into his daily practice right up until the time of his death.

According to Andrezej Stec, JDPSN “Zen Master Seung Sahn was not only a great teacher but a great practitioner himself. He was always trying to practice and give us the gift of a formal practice.”

Another example of someone who values daily practice is professional golfer, Tiger Woods. Despite being the world’s #1 top ranked player, Woods maintains a discipline that includes a daily two-hour workout in the gym, plus another four hours of swinging at hundreds of golf balls.

In addition, Woods works with both a mental and a physical coach to help him improve his game.

It is no surprise to Tiger that he enjoys the results he gets and the status of being number one in the world. Woods is the best and he knows it. Still, day after day he continues to practice the basics in an effort to become even better.

Last month we learned: “Good stimulus in, makes for good thoughts, which makes for good actions, which makes for a good life.”

So this month, why not think about some daily practice you may want to put in place to improve the quality of your daily thoughts?

Action Steps:

1. Brainstorm and come up with 5 ways to improve your mental state.

2. Identify and choose one practice you are willing to incorporate into your daily routine so keep your high-quality positive thoughts.

3. Commit to this practice every day for the next 30 days. Observe to notice if the quality of your thoughts improves.

4. If you get good results, add another practice; repeat steps 2-4.

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. - Judy Garland

Lives, like money, are spent. What are you buying with yours? - Roy H. Williams

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

Yesterday is History. Tomorrow is Mystery. Today is a Gift. That's Why we call it the Present - Unknown

This month’s tip comes from a fellow life coach, author and radio show host.
The tip is about the power of questions reprinted with his permission.

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QUESTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
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"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." -Albert Einstein

Let me ask you a question - if you knew that there is at least one thing in today's tip that will absolutely change your life for the better, how attentively would you choose to read it?

If you experienced any shift in your state in response to that question, you've just experienced the potential power of questions to change your life.

Here's how it works:

Imagine that your conscious attention is like a flashlight and the untapped power of your mind is like a darkened room. Each new question encourages us to shine our flashlight in a new direction so that we can find information and resources that may always have been available to us but were 'hidden' in the dusty recesses of our mental attic.

For example, 'What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?' shines the light of your attention into a corner of your mind where as a child you piled all the hopes and dreams you had been taught were 'unrealistic' and 'childish'.

Asking yourself 'What would you want if you knew you didn't have to be unhappy about not getting it?' shines the light into the part of your mind where you keep the 'scary goals' - things you really want but fear the disappointment of trying and failing to achieve.

Here are some great questions from Michael Masterson's 'Early to Rise' newsletter

1. Imagine you are at your own funeral. What do people say about you - not from the pulpit but in whispered voices at the back of the room? What would you like them to say?

2. What would you do with your money if you had all you could ever need?

3. How would you live your life if you knew you were going to die feeling perfectly healthy in five years?

4. What would you feel you've missed if you found out that you had 24 hours to live?

Again, taking the time to ask and answer these questions can make a tremendous difference to the way you live your life. One similar question which completely changed my approach to my business was this:

Imagine you are on your deathbed and you have had a wonderful life. What are the four or five things you are most glad that you did?

When I realized that one of the things on my list was 'I was there while my kids were growing up', I decided that a life on the road as an actor and speaker was not the life for me. While I still travel for work from time to time, (I am writing this from a hotel room in San Francisco), I was home last week to attend my eight year old daughter's mime show, to see my eleven year old son's presentation on an imaginary culture who worship a frog god named 'Bruce', and to play Dora the Explorer with my 4 year old.

I can't honestly say whether or not that's made a huge difference in their lives - but it really has made a huge positive difference in mine!

1. Ask yourself any or all of the questions in today's tip. Here they are again below:

This is a radio station that I really enjoy listening to and they have excellent positive content with fantastic hosts including Michael Neil, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Wyatt Webb and Cheryl Richardson. Check it out!

Steve Kennedy is a personal coach specializing in working with entrepreneurs.
For a free 1/2 hour coaching session or to get more information directly from Steve, contact him at: steve@winningthegameofbusiness.com

Copyright (c) 2006, all rights reserved. You may copy, forward or distribute Tools for WINNING The Game Newsletter provided the copyright notice and full information for contacting Steve Kennedy are included.
You may contact Steve by email at: steve@winningthegameofbusiness.com

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